Dude, there’s no way I can possibly do infinity push-ups.– Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Starburst's Juicy Contradiction
They say Starburst is a contradiction because it’s a solid, yet it’s juicy at the same time. But isn’t the “juice” from Starburst really just your SPIT?
*After Woodcock hits John with a baseball bat in the middle of the night.* John: What the Hell, Woodcock?! Woodcock: It was dark, instinct took over. John: What about when I said, “It’s me, it’s John”?! Woodcock: John is a very common name, there could be a burglar named John. John: What kind of burglar yells out his own name?!
Funny Conversations with Husband
Me: Guess what Bear Grylls’ real name is? Husband: Beartholomew? Me: Edward. Husband: Uh….no.
My Most Excellent First Post
My most excellent first post is excellent.